Post by David on Jan 24, 2012 0:29:20 GMT -5
Howdy folks,
My nephew sent this to me some time back and I recently refound it. Yes, I sent it out before cuz it's quite cool. Except for the line about Vancian magic, I buy all of it. It also further illustrates why mages "don’t use swords or armor" because it's a needed part of the "drinking with the universe mindset" to NOT rely on steel and violence. Just as most alchies can't hold down a normal life without an enabler, so too can most mages not cast spells and use a long sword. Only certain non-humans have the required mindset to do both...
Hope that helps,
David
p.s. -- thanks, Aaron!
-----Original Message-----
I thought you would get a kick out of this...
Magic, for wizards at least, is a science. Through serious study, wizards have figured out how to trick the universe into letting things that shouldn't happen happen anyway. The thing is, talking physics into sitting down and shutting up for a moment isn't the sort of thing you can do immediately, first you've got to take the universe to a bar and get it drunk enough it thinks you're a pretty woman, then you haul it out into the back alley and beat it over the head with a two by four. The actual hitting-it-in-the-head thing only takes a brief bit of time, but the getting it drunk takes longer.
When the wizard prepares spells in the morning, he's getting the universe drunk. When he actually casts a spell, he's hitting it in the head until it capitulates. But the thing is, he can't do it too often or too hard, or else he'll give it cirrhosis of the liver or a concussion or something. So he has to limit the number of spells he prepares and the potency of said spells, or else the fabric of reality is going to start showing some serious abuse.
Now when he gains experience, he can do his thing with greater finesse. Instead of serving the universe whiskey and using a two-by-four, he's taking the universe out for martinis and hitting it with a polo mallet. So he can put more drinks into the universe before it pukes and he can hit it in the head more often before it grabs the mallet away from him, and he can prepare higher level spells without tearing reality to shreds.
The universe is just built to accept Vancian magic. If the wizard tries to circumvent the process, everything starts going all fuzzy and spheres of annihilation start raining from the sky and everybody dies.
Do you want everybody to die?
My nephew sent this to me some time back and I recently refound it. Yes, I sent it out before cuz it's quite cool. Except for the line about Vancian magic, I buy all of it. It also further illustrates why mages "don’t use swords or armor" because it's a needed part of the "drinking with the universe mindset" to NOT rely on steel and violence. Just as most alchies can't hold down a normal life without an enabler, so too can most mages not cast spells and use a long sword. Only certain non-humans have the required mindset to do both...
Hope that helps,
David
p.s. -- thanks, Aaron!
-----Original Message-----
I thought you would get a kick out of this...
Magic, for wizards at least, is a science. Through serious study, wizards have figured out how to trick the universe into letting things that shouldn't happen happen anyway. The thing is, talking physics into sitting down and shutting up for a moment isn't the sort of thing you can do immediately, first you've got to take the universe to a bar and get it drunk enough it thinks you're a pretty woman, then you haul it out into the back alley and beat it over the head with a two by four. The actual hitting-it-in-the-head thing only takes a brief bit of time, but the getting it drunk takes longer.
When the wizard prepares spells in the morning, he's getting the universe drunk. When he actually casts a spell, he's hitting it in the head until it capitulates. But the thing is, he can't do it too often or too hard, or else he'll give it cirrhosis of the liver or a concussion or something. So he has to limit the number of spells he prepares and the potency of said spells, or else the fabric of reality is going to start showing some serious abuse.
Now when he gains experience, he can do his thing with greater finesse. Instead of serving the universe whiskey and using a two-by-four, he's taking the universe out for martinis and hitting it with a polo mallet. So he can put more drinks into the universe before it pukes and he can hit it in the head more often before it grabs the mallet away from him, and he can prepare higher level spells without tearing reality to shreds.
The universe is just built to accept Vancian magic. If the wizard tries to circumvent the process, everything starts going all fuzzy and spheres of annihilation start raining from the sky and everybody dies.
Do you want everybody to die?