The DiShane Affair

[Andy]

Kephalonia:

I have three things I'd like to accomplish in this world, once our responsibilities in Amberwood are complete:

1. Cleanse the temple of Harmonia.
2. Catch Madromo and kill him very slowly.

But since the first is impossible without the god's favor returning to this world, and the second is even harder, I suggest we turn our attention to our longest-standing nemesis.

3. Get DiShane

Soooo Amanda. I'd like you to tell me everything you can about our friend, the Duke DiShane. Given an injured world and undoubted mayhem across the countryside, I believe that the local authorities in Greyhawk will have much more to do than worry about a few low 'criminals' (she says word with amused distain) and we will be able to not only teach this Duke the lesson he most certainly deserves, but we will be able to re-establish ourselves as honorable citizens of that city as well.

I have many ideas for appropriate punishments (some that would make Akbeth herself wince), however, I'd really like to know as much about the fellow as I possibly can.

* Is/was he ever married? Who and/or Why not?
* Any heirs?
* What influence do his relatives have over him and his name?
* What sort of holdings does he command? Real Estate? Loads of servants and stuff?
* Who or what is he served by, other than the dolts we last tangled with?
* Does he serve any sort of public office as part of his station?
* Has he ever accomplished anything beneficial for the city?

And a few others for referesher's sake - age, height, build, and description as of our last meeting would be great.

[Andy]

Btw, Erik, Ciaus, and anyone else with some input, please do feel free to chime in.

[Stephanous]

Caius- "I'm always up for some fun. So what did this guy do? "

Paul

[Andy]

Consider Ciaus filled in. Kephalonia relates Akbeth's recommendations, but she's got something nicer AND meaner in store for him. She also mentions her sister lives in Greyhawk, and she'd certainly be willing to help as well...

Incidentially, I don't know if and when we'd ever get to do this, but just some background planning...a little scheming is good for the wicked.

[Admin]

* Is/was he ever married? Who and/or Why not?
I don't imagine that he has ever been married...of course David has "taken over" this particular NPC, but my concept of him was of a young, spoiled aristocrat that was fairly ammoral...lawful to neutral evil...he "wanted" Amanda as his trophy wife, and when she refused him he vowed to make her life a living hell...

* Any heirs?
He didn't when I created him...but it has been several years...I can see him as being a very "hands off" parent...or perhaps have an illegitimate child that he really doesn't care about...but this is all open to the DM interpretation

* What influence do his relatives have over him and his name?
I imagined that he came from one of those families that wasn't very close...you were expected to tow the line or risk getting "cut off" financially...The image I had of his grandmother was of the evil matriarch, who as a boy he feared...and probably still does...she's the one with the real power.

* What sort of holdings does he command? Real Estate? Loads of servants and stuff?
I imagine that upon reaching majority his grandmother gave him a certain amount of control over the family business . Ultimately, I envision that it is still the grandmother that holds the purse strings...he has learned his own behavior from her and has bought into her style of management and overseeing that she taught him. He's a cruel boss to the servants...and probably has abused more than one maid over the years...

* Who or what is he served by, other than the dolts we last tangled with?
I believe he has his own band of merry supporters that he lords over by fear and their own obsequiousness...They see him as a powerful friend and he gets their services as almost mercenaries...I believe the family are strong worshippers of the Lawful Evil oerdian god of money (I forget the name...)

* Does he serve any sort of public office as part of his station?
This has never been established...this is a DM option

* Has he ever accomplished anything beneficial for the city?
I really created him as a vacuous noble who takes pleasure in humiliating others...Picture a male Paris Hilton with a brutal evil streak...


And a few others for referesher's sake - age, height, build, and description as of our last meeting would be great.
I believe I described him as tall, very handsome, blond hair, blue eyes, lean with decent body tone...swimmer's build perhaps...That fakey politician smile that at once is charming and lecherous...depending on if you trust him or not.

I will try to dredge up the story I wrote about him....that may help.

[David]

Please assume everything from Kari's description of DiShane is accurate. In addition, he is a Duke of one of the smaller principalities along the Wooly Coast -- a favor to repay an act of heroism on the part of one of DiShane's forebearers.

Assume he is a powerful, well-connected merchant who worships Zilchus (the LN god of wealth and power). The currect status of his family and holdings are unknown since none of you have been to Greyhawk in years.

Kari, what's his first name?

Oh yes, and Erik would very much like the pleasure of "killing this nasty fuck slowly and mercilessly..."

David
aka
Erik, who doesn't quite grasp Keph's subtlty...

[Admin]

Phillip Michael DeChaine is the guys full name.

[Andy]

Interesting...and most excellent.

Erik, old friend... there are worse things than Death. Think about a corpse laying on the ground - his spirit is (okay, typically) free to move on to ultimate reward or punishment, Hades' call.

Now think of the most bedraggled, beaten, downtrodden and dim spirit of a man you can think of on this earth. He goes about his day wishing he was dead and cringing anytime anyone speaks loudly. He is a captive in his own body, tortured by his own fear.

Now think of his wife... <mirthless grin>

[Admin]

I believe the term is "to the pain..." The parley will go something like this:

=======================

Kephalonia: To the pain.

Phillip DeChaine: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

Kephalonia: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.

Phillip DeChaine: That may be the first time in my life a woman has dared insult me.

Kephalonia: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.

Phillip DeChaine: And then my tongue I suppose, I didn't kill you the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

Kephalonia: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.

Phillip DeChaine: And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.

Kephalonia: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

[David]

And people don't trust me because "I'm a brutal assassin...!"

Erik

[Andy]

Hahaha --- There were three dialogs between heros and villans that went down as most cool, most brave, most debonair -- Westley and Humperdink's dialog left them all behind.

Kephalonia:
But no, you fools, it's so very much too obvious to physically break him. As things stand now I could charm suggest, and feed love-potions to his entire staff of this house and have them deliver him to the front doorstep without too much difficulty. Hell help him the gods' favor returns to this world, and I'd fill his bedroom with twenty skeletons armed with rusty poisoned daggers each night. Once he and everyone around was paralyzed, I could breeze in and cast him directly into the very pits of hell...deliver his liver for Cerebus to eat...<whistful look> Now that's a good doggie....

But such a victory would be hollow, and only serve to push us still further away from culture we can take advantage of in that prosperous city.

The Duke has much more to give us than just his piteful life and body. He has station, he has wealth, he has resources, and he has his name.

<ominous horns>

[Artec]

some where a tree russles in the breeze in agreementTEXT

[Stephanous]

Kephalonia,
Once you have taken away everything that he has, your sister would love to spend a great deal of time making his physical torture her own extreme pleasure.

Paul

[Andy]

I think that should be entirely up to him...

We catch him, and give him a choice:

Option 1: Willingly marry Kephalonia in public pomp and circumstance, making her the Dutchess Kephalonia Di Shane and giving her family members (sister, Ophelia) the appropriate title and rank. In public, the duke and dutchess will live happily ever after, and the Dutchess (gods willing) will bear the Di Shane heir in pure Disneyesque glory, chirping birds and bunny rabbits inclusive.

In private, the Dutchess' sister will often accompany them to bed, and be put in charge of topping the Duke as necessary to maintain his even temper. The family will also of course build a tower on family grounds for the Dutchess to use as a magical laboratory, as everyone knows she's got some magical skills in making potions. The raw resources the family can pay for would be monitarily returned tenfold as potions of longevity, treasure finding, polymorphing, and others started to become available...at a premium of course without competition from the mage's guild. Something that should keep even a suspicious Mother-in-Law happy.

Of course the Dutchess' adventuring companions would be welcome on the grounds as well, each having lavish guest quarters available if they stop by, or their own rooms (apprentices...ahem...valets) courtesy of the Di Shane family.

Option 2: Unwillingly Marry Kephalonia....basically all the same things happen, except that the Duke goes missing at some point, only to have his personal equipment found floating in a wayward gelatinous cube months later. The new Dutchess is saddened to no end and publicly mourns him, pays assassins to find out who did this to him, etc, etc, blah blah.

"Thus, all he has, will be mine." says Kephalonia. "However, I am neither unreasonable, nor blind to the fact that his impetus put us on the road to the great good we've accomplished; a hand at saving the world. So, I will share what he has with him. Hey may not enjoy that, though, and I will savor every bit of his misery."

[Stephanous]

Does the Duke have any siblings that might be a problem?

Paul