Post by Admin on Jan 3, 2006 15:50:35 GMT -5
Selected headlines
President awaits Rove's decision on whether he should fire Rove
Robert Smith's wife knew what to do when his cancer sent him into a coronary attack thanks to his living will. No, not that Robert Smith, don't worry: There's still no cancer for The Cure
"As if the suffering from Katrina wasn't enough, the Saints will be back in New Orleans in 2006"
Michael J. Fox shows interest in Back to the Future 4. Details, however, are shaky
Pope denounces materialism from balcony of marble, gold-domed building in midst of jewel-encrusted religious icons while wearing giant gold cross.
Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand But when she takes a leak, there's penis in her hand Can't use the restroom of a woman or a man So Rio's gonna build her own transvestite can
"Man stabbed to death by long-time girlfriend in argument over can of beer. Making situation more tragic, it was a can of light beer"
Eighty percent of New Orleans currently covered in water. Remaining 20 percent still covered in urine
Earthquake in Kenya causes residents to run 26.2 miles away
Ashlee Simpson collapses and is rushed to Tokyo hospital. Concert goers stay and listen to the rest of the tape
Heidi Klum to marry Seal. Klum: "I'm very happy." Seal: "Wock, wock, wock"
Chicago beats Houston four times in a week. Bobby Brown still holds the record
Canada names John Holmes as new ambassador to Iraq, because the tenure of the new ambassador is expected to be long and hard
Karma...Karma...Karma...Karma...Karma Chameleon....they found my blow...they found my blow
Church of England debating whether to allow female bishops. Critics say move won't help women to move forward, only diagonally
Nazi party adopts a highway. Residents angered that the group will only pick up white trash
Xbox 360, much like Courtney Love, found to be very unstable, riddled with bugs, and available for $400
Shuttle explosion delayed until Tuesday
Amputees hit the slopes, mostly with their faces and rear ends
Martha Stewart has lost 20 pounds in prison, apparently on a tossed salad diet
The horse that played "Seabiscuit" just died. In other news, the horse that played a boxer in "Million Dollar Baby" recently won the Oscar for Best Actress.
Radioactive goat testifies at Connecticut state capitol. No word if "Edge Of Seventeen" was the encore
Shiite leader's top aide, two others killed in Iraq. Hitting the fan ruled out as cause of death
Andrea Dworkin is dead. He was 58
Hurricanes cut Florida orange crop by 27 percent. Winthorpe and Valentine unavailable for comment
Boy who slam-dunked his hands right off now has hands back on, is happy and knows it
Tornado reveals child pornography in Maryland man's home, sending him to OZ
Former Ben & Jerry's CFO pleads guilty to embezzlement, expects to receive continuous supply of Chubby Hubby from cellmate
Chinatown bus catches fire. All passengers exit safely, circumambulate bus, re-enter
Kraft decides to end sugary food advertisements to kids under 12. Press conference interrupted by Kool-Aid Man breaking through wall, shouting "Oh no!"
Wham! The Musical brings back glory whole generations can't forget